How do I even start? I’ve been sitting here staring at my blank screen through two cups of coffee and one entire episode of Sesame Street. I really don’t know how to start writing about this journey on my son’s very first birthday. So I guess I will just write exactly what is going on in my rambling mind. My baby boy is one year old today, so first off – a very very happy birthday to you my sweet sweet lover boy. Ugh, I’m stuck again. I don’t even have words. I love you so deeply and feel so incredibly grateful for you, for every minute with you. My baby boy Carter. How in the world are you already a year old? I remember the day my water broke, the drive to the hospital, the elevator ride up to the the labor and delivery room, the nurse, my anxiety, your first cry, the feel of your little body on my chest, introducing you to Sadie, coming home as a family of four, all of it, as if it just happened a few weeks ago. But somehow, in some twisted time warp, it was actually one year ago.
This first year with you has been an absolute dream. You make me SO happy. I love everything about you and can’t think of a single thing about that I would change, not even a little bit. You are so many things; kind, sweet, funny, playful, strong, stubborn, brave, curious, creative, smart, loving, tough, determined, independent and magical. I feel so proud of you all the time. It’s hard for me to not be talking about you at all times. When you go to bed at night, sometimes your dad and I sit up and just talk about how awesome you are and how happy we are that you have joined our family. We sit and grin as we recall the amazing list of things that you did that day and how wonderful your relationship with your sister is.
On this day one year ago, you were born at 6:30am and weighed a mere 6 lbs 10 oz. Now at one year old, I have no clue how much you weigh but I’d take a guess it’s somewhere around 25 lbs. You sit, you crawl, you walk! You can say Mama, Dada, dog, Sadie (say-cee), and you say voom-voom when you play with your toy cars. You mimic anything anyone says, so really you say a lot more than that. But those are the words you consistently say without someone saying them first. You never took a bottle or a pacifier but you can drink out of a straw or a sippy cup. You are a good eater. You never did purees and went straight to mushy solids. You love bagels and cream cheese, pizza, mac n’ cheese, spaghetti, peas, carrots, watermelon, raspberries, apples. But the thing you want most in this world is beer. I have no idea what intrigues you so much about it, but anytime anyone has a beer – whether it be in can, glass or bottle, you go straight for it and are completely relentless about getting it. This usually ends with you throwing yourself on the floor crying.
You are built like a linebacker. And have no fear. You climb slides and attempt to climb shelves and ladders like any other 5 year old on the playground. You already know how to use Sadie’s scooter. Anytime you see another baby you tower over them grabbing at their face and body saying “ooh ooh ooh”. We say that your spirit animal is a silver back gorilla. Your body build and your attitude is so gorilla. All you need to do is learn to beat on your chest and it would be off to the zoo with you. It cracks us up.
I can’t wait to see what you will become as you get older. And I’m looking forward to this next upcoming year, watching you learn to speak. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. I wish there was a way I could write and convey how spectacular your personality is. You are very truly one of a kind, so very special. And you and your big sister are two peas in a pod. You love each other deeply. My god, you guys are so rough with each other. You pull each other’s hair, shove your hands in each other’s mouths, sit and roll on top of each other. It’s just crazy mayhem over here. But you two just laugh and giggle and can’t get enough of it and each other. In the mornings when you wake, the first thing you look for is your sister, “say-cee”. And same goes for her.
You are growing and maturing so fast, I hope you still let me hold you and snuggle you for a while longer. I am definitely not ready for you to no longer be a baby. Honestly if you decided to stay my little sweet one year old forever, I wouldn’t protest. One year old. So crazy. A year ago I didn’t even know you yet. I didn’t know how you would rock my world. I had no idea how much my heart would grow and stretch and make so much room for you. I didn’t know how you would fit perfectly into the nook of my arm. I didn’t know the sweet sweet joy of when you close your eyes and open your mouth and come in for a kiss (which is just a lot of baby slobber on my lips) but it melts me. A year ago I had no clue what was in store for me. So thank you. Thank you for being the most incredible human gorilla boy there ever has been. I feel so lucky. So so lucky. Happy birthday baby boy. I hope you squeeze every ounce of joy out of this world. I know I will try and make you as happy as I can. But I don’t think there will ever be a way to repay you for how happy you make us. We love you baby Carter. xo.