Happy New Year to one and all. Stepping into a new year is time for wiping the slate clean. It’s time to reset the timer and start working on those resolutions. Bettering your life, doing the things you meant to do last year, being motivated. It’s also a great excuse to look at the past year and reflect on the moments and accomplishments you acquired in the past 365 days.
2013 was a very interesting year for me. I had some of the most highest highs I’ve ever had, and the lowest lows personally known to date.
Our year of 2013 started off great. We were still beaming with joy after learning of our pregnancy on Christmas morning 2012. I was very happy living in the home and town that we’ve settled into. Sadie was growing and learning every day, and a total joy, as usual. Devin’s job was fulfilling and exciting.
Much like my pregnancy with Sadie, the morning sickness kicked in pretty quickly. It was terrible. Much worse than I remember having with Sadie. I couldn’t eat a thing I was so sick. I was vomiting day and night and I was completely exhausted. I was going to bed almost every night at 8pm. The sickness was getting the better of me… and I soon found out why. I was growing two babies inside of me. It was the most scary/special/crazy/frightening/amazing news ever. We were having twins.
My belly was growing fast. And my morning sickness and fatigue seemed like they were sticking around for the long haul. I felt so ill I wasn’t able to do dishes or vacuum or do anything to maintain the house and family like I normally do. My mom flew up to help me out for a while. She came up to help me cook, clean and play with Sadie – but she ended up taking over so much more than that. In a terrible twist of fate – I miscarried one of the babies while she was visiting.
My days darkened. I tried to go on with the remaining pregnancy with the baby that I would some day find out to be Carter, but I was lost. I cannot even stomach to think about some of the feelings I had during that time. It was hard for me to be happy or excited about the pregnancy. In fact it was awful. It was awful to be pregnant and miscarry at the same time. I didn’t want to see a baby or a pregnant woman out in public because it made me so sad. But here I was, pregnant myself. It was hard for me to care for Sadie in the first week or two after the miscarriage, let alone myself. I was so deep into my pit, it took me a while to climb out.
I feel like I could safely call 2013, The Year of Hibernation. I started off tired and sick, and then moved into desperately heart broken AND tired and sick. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I stopped being social. I wouldn’t even talk to my family members. I never told anyone I was pregnant for months because I couldn’t stand to hear the congratulations. I stopped blogging. I stopped Instagramming. I barely have any photos at all from the first half of 2013. Total hibernation.
Spring time came around, and so did I. The warm weather and festive holidays helped. We got to celebrate Easter at home and Devin and I even took a little ‘babymoon’ alone for his birthday.
Life took an unexpected turn. But like in anything in life, you grow and move on. And I did just that, especially the growing part…
We were getting excited to bring our son into this world and for all the changes it would bring. We moved into a new house that was a bit smaller and cozier, but had a third bedroom to make into a little boys nursery. We also got wonderful news and learned that my sister Jamie was expecting her first child in January 2014! That summer, Sadie and I flew to LA to be with her before I reached the point where I was too big to fly.
Devin launched his app he had been working on for a year and it was greeted with much praise in the media and amongst colleagues. It was a very happy ending to so many late nights of work. I created a baby bucket list of all things I wanted to do with Sadie before she became a sibling. That summer, no matter how tired I was, I pushed myself to do adventure after adventure.
Summer was almost over and the arrival of baby was sneaking up on us very quickly. We got Sadie enrolled in preschool and had her go to a session of Summer School to get her used to it.
She loved her classes and the school, and couldn’t wait to officially start, but we ended up having to pull her out. Timing with Carter’s arrival so didn’t work out at all. Luckily, we got a second shot at it and she got to enroll back in for January 2014 (in 5 days!).
We started settling down with our adventures and just enjoyed our time together as a family of three while we waited for our fourth member to let us know he was on his way.
And on August 25th, 2013 at 6am he did just that. After a quick and relatively easy labor my precious baby, my survivor, Carter Lee Foley was born and lovingly embraced by his mother, father, sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Carter has blown my heart up and stretched it as big as a hot air balloon and then exploded it and taped it back together with puppy dogs, ice cream, cupcakes and rainbows. He is BEYOND anything I could have ever hoped or imagined. There is not even one piece of me that would have wanted anything different from what I got. Things happen in the way they are supposed to. And I think I was supposed to love him double. And I really feel that is exactly what ended up happening. There was so much sorrow and darkness around his pregnancy, and I can’t change that. But he shines a light so bright that he has melted all of that away. My children are my blessings. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how they get here, just the fact they are here. And Carter is here.
Our life continues on even after bringing home a brand new baby. Because in the land of toddler, there are no breaks. You just keep going to the playground and dressing up like a princess like you always did. Except this time with a newborn attached to your boob. So Sadie, and I, continued to be busy. Sadie started her new favorite event, ballet.
And 2013 also brought us to Sadie’s third birthday. I can’t believe our beautiful flower child is three!
All in all we had one hell of a year. A terrible year, a hibernating year, a year of growth, a wonderful, joyous, beautiful, shout from the rooftops how happy I am year. And now all there is to do is keep on going and growing as a lovely family of four.
Farewell 2013, can’t wait to see what happens in 2014.