Mini Monet // Ice Cream Date // Beach Day // Day Date to Muir Beach // Serious Train Playing Stance // Trapped With Balloons // Getting Some Serious Air // Unamused At The Pizza Shop
I really can’t believe it, but Sadie is one month shy of being two and half. In my opinion it seemed as if the first year of her life took so long. During the newborn and infant stage there is a lot of monotony going on and progress such as sitting, crawling, walking and talking seem to take a long time to get to. But since her first birthday time is moving at warp speed, and since her second birthday that warp speed got a turbo booster strapped to it.
I call her my baby, but she is so far from a baby. I especially realize this when we are at the play ground with REAL babies. Or toddlers just learning to toddle. I watch my “baby” climb ladders by herself, go up and down stairs with ease and call to me from the top of the highest tower, “Mommy, watch me go down the big twisty slide!” This kid is no baby.
Her speech as far as I am concerned is at a 100%. There is nothing this kid can’t say. And she has repeatedly reminded me of that when she recites things that I say that could be viewed as a little less than appropriate.. oops. She has also really developed a love of singing. She sings constantly and immediately remembers the lyrics and melody of any song I sing to her more than once. Dare I say, she might even grow up to be a pretty good singer. And speaking of her voice… oh that sweet little voice. How I treasure it so. It is so sweet and little.
One of her favorite new expressions is calling me babe after every question or request. She obviously has picked that up from Devin and I who use ‘babe’ as our pet name for each other. But, I can’t tell you how funny it is to hear your toddler say, “Can we paint now babe?” or “Is the mac and cheese ready babe?” Kills me every single time.
I understand that the “two’s” are supposed to be terrible. And it’s a very common practice to have a tantrum here and there and there and there. God knows how I escaped it, but I did. Somehow. I have an angel for a child. She never tantrums. She has no problem with disappointment… if I tell her she can’t have a lollipop now or she needs to put that toy back on the shelf because we’re not buying it, she obliges and just says, “maybe later.”
She also loves to share. And will happily give toys away to any wandering nearby children. She’ll go with the flow if I have to wake her up from a nap early, or if I forgot her favorite toy at home. Honestly the only thing she gets pretty opinionated about is which pj’s she gets to wear at night. She’s pretty specific about that. Who knows why. And it’s not that I have done some amazing training process on making her an agreeable little person. She just is who she is. And that happens to be a kind, caring, gentle, patient and smart little person.
We are by no way perfect over here. We are still dealing with sleep issues that I really hope will be resolved soon. We’re still in diapers and are still very much attached to our pacifier. These are all things that are on my major to do list before we hit three. But at this rate her third birthday will be here in a blink so I know I have to get on it. I’m just so scared of the fallout from those things. Especially the pacifiers!! If anyone has any helpful tips for that, I’m all ears.
Here’s to you Sadie. Thank you for making life so easy and so very magical. xo.
I woke up today and it hit me. Sadie will be 2 years old next Friday. This will now be the second birthday party she’s had. How in the hell did this happen?! She’s still a baby! I just honestly don’t know how an entire year slipped through my fingers this fast. I know for certain I don’t take the days for granted. I sit and stare at her and think to myself remember every second, remember her just like this. For I am well aware that these are all fleeting moments and someday she will not let me sit and stare at her all day, someday she won’t let me lie next to her and smother her with kisses and affection. Someday she will be a teenager and someday a grownup.
When Sadie was born we had a few friends that had children around 2 years old. It’s funny to think about that now coming from a perspective of someone with a two year old. Because back then I thought of those kids as so grown up. I would have never considered them as babies. Next to my newborn they were full blown kids. They had language, motor skills, could climb, jump and run. But I know now, that their parents must have still considered them to be so tiny and fragile, just as I still do with Sadie. And in many ways I’m sure those parents are looking at their now 4 year olds as slightly bigger babies.
Maybe that is my lesson. Perhaps it doesn’t matter how old they get – teenagers or even adults, they are still always babies in your eyes.
I do get excited for the future of course. I want to see what her real interests are as she grows older. I delight in the knowledge that one day soon she will tell me the funniest and craziest stories. I want to hear how magical her imagination is. I want to see if she likes books and nature like her mom, or maybe she’ll be into music and technology like her dad. Or maybe she’ll be something completely and utterly surprising – like an acrobat!
I apologize for the rant, it’s just that I’m feeling rather reflective. As I look to the future and marvel in all that we still have left to discover I can’t help but to get lost in the past and the present. It’s just all so good. It’s all happening too fast. I’m trying to grasp everyday tight but no matter how strong my hold is the time is just slipping between my fingers.
I’m sure on Sadie’s first day of Kindergarten I’ll look back at her second birthday like it was just a few days ago. On days like today, when I really stop to think about it all, it just gets too… overwhelming, I guess would be the right term. I’m overwhelmed by how meaningful everyday of my life is now that we brought a little one into the world.
Now excuse me while I smother my waking baby up with kisses and hugs. Hopefully we will spend the rest of the day playing and exploring all while I sit back and stare at her and try to drink in every moment.
Today marks 3 years that we made our union official.
Anybody lose a bet yet??
In a way I feel like three years already?! But then in so many other ways I feel like it’s only been three years?
Life has changed a lot for us since this beautiful October day 3 years ago. And it seems to be getting more and more lovely as we go on. Adding an addition to our family has only made our bond stronger and deeper.
To the man that couldn’t hold it together during our wedding ceremony, to the man who held my hand while I brought his daughter into this world, to the man that works long long hours and still comes home and plays tea party with his baby, to the man that I fell so in love with in our wild youth and to the man that I love even more now…
my baby daddy,
my very best friend,
Happy Anniversary Devin.
Dear my little lady Sadie,
When I was young, about your age, my Pop pop would refer to me and your Aunt Jam Jam as whimsical creatures. I’ve forever since then loved that term, but now finally in knowing you I really understand what he meant.
You are a little fairy that graciously adopted me as your mother and you let me marvel in your wonderment. You my dear, are truly on another wave length. Do you know how many times a day I catch you wandering off in another direction following a butterfly? Or how you very often trip over your feet because you were busy studying the clouds rather than where you are walking. You talk to animals. Not just a typical “hi doggy,” but rather you have full blown conversations with animals. As if they are very much talking back to you.
It takes us an hour to walk one block because you have to stop and kiss, yes kiss every bug you see. You’ve tried this with bees and spiders on more than one occasion. So I always have to keep a watchful eye on what you’re looking at.
You can spot a dandelion, or what you call a “wish flower,” from a football field away and you have to, just absolutely have to, go and blow on it until all of its petals fly away.
You get lost in thought and often seem to be so focused on all of the nature around you that you’ll forget where you are and what you are in the middle of doing.
You are a hippie at heart my child.
Did you also know that you are a vegetarian? And that’s totally on you. You refuse to eat any type of meat. No fish sticks, no chicken tenders not even spaghetti and meatballs. You are just totally on your own voyage here in life, and I’m glad your dad and I get to be a part of it.
I can’t wait to see what else you have in store for us.
Love forever my whimsical creature,
A fellow parent once said to me, “The days are slow, but the years are so quick.” Boy, could that not be anymore correct. The first year of motherhood has been my biggest triumph. It was extremely difficult and humbling for me. I realized that everything I thought I knew was wrong and even when I seemed to have things figured out everything changed. It was a perpetual state of evolution. Every month was an extreme difference from the prior. I’ll be honest at certain points I really felt like I wasn’t cut out for the grueling job of mother.
But as the days, weeks and months passed life grew better and better. And I grew stronger and more confident. And now somehow I am here – looking back at it all with my almost 2 year old sitting snuggled into my side patting my leg lovingly as she watches her afternoon cartoons.
Somehow we made it. I made it to two without a single trip to the ER (thank god), only one call into the poison control center (not fun), never feeding her fast food (not even once, yay me!), a few bumps and scrapes and a lifetime of the best memories I’ve ever had.
Our tiny little family is getting older and wiser. And like a fine wine – it’s just getting better with age. All of it.
My relationship with my husband has never been stronger, has never been deeper. I have an immense love for him and tremendous respect for how hard he works to support our choice of having me at home with our daughter full time. He is a great man and a terrific father.
And our relationship with our daughter is just… jeez. I couldn’t even begin to put it into words. Simply put, she’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.
I’m counting all my lucky stars today. Every day I get to wake up into this life of mine is a good day.
I wanted to wait a while before I put this out there. I’m not typically a superstitious person, but when it comes to my sleep – I’m not taking any chances.
Several months ago I wrote about the history of Sadie’s sleep. Since moving her into her crib in her own room life changed dramatically for me. It was a huge tremendous monumental step in recovering my sanity and some personal space. Things went relatively smoothly with the transition but it still took quite some time to graduate into fully developed sleep patterns for her.
Sadie had this fun little quirky thing she loved doing. After putting her in her crib at night and lying on the floor like a ninja not making even a single breath until she falls asleep—because god help you if you actually walk out of the room while she’s awake. It’s as if you had lit all the binkies in the world on fire in one huge campfire and made her sit and watch. Pure devastation. So once she would fall asleep (a good 45 minutes of lying on floor not breathing) she would sleep soundly and peacefully. Until about 1am. Oh lordy, that 1am wakeup call every….single….night.
It’s not as if it were just a quick cry and a warmed bottle that would put that cute little stinker back down. Nope, crib time was over for Miss Sadie. 1am was her internal timer for PICK ME UP AND PUT ME IN THE BIG BED NOW!!!
So into our bed she goes and where she stays for the next 2 hours wide awake. She jumps, talks, pinches me, tickles me, climbs on my back and says, “ride mommy!” For two hours every night. I attempt to sleep through it and just wait for her to exhaust herself. Devin actually does sleep through it. How he does it?? I have no clue.
Eventually around 3am she’ll fall asleep with her head on my neck (totally comfortable and super easy to breathe that way, btw) and her feet digging into Devin’s ribcage. And there she will sleep until the sun comes up at around 5:45am. And then like it or not we’re up watching Sesame Street.
However, there has been a shift to the paradigm. Is it my patience of a saint that finally paid off? Or is it simply just that my girl is rounding two years old? I’d like to think it’s me, but most likely it’s just her. The thing is though that for 3 weeks now—every night consistently, she goes to bed on her own and sleeps the entire night through.
IT FEELS CRAZY SAYING THAT OUT LOUD!!! Omg. It’s true! It’s so unreal! But yes, around 9pm after dinner, bath, pj’s and story time – she asks to lie down. It goes something like this, “Mommy I tiwwwud, I seep now.” So I put her in her crib and Devin gets her a bottle. We both lean over her crib and say good night…we love you and she says back “Bye mama, bye Dada.” And we close the door to her room and within 20 mins she’s asleep. And I don’t see that little toot machine until around 7am. And you know what, I kind of miss her during the night but not enough to go back to the old days, that’s for sure!
I really just have to say that it feels so good getting here. It was so much hard work. But I am seeing the light. And I am rested; I actually have enough energy that I’ve started wearing lipstick again! Imagine that!
I almost feel inclined to start a movement. You know like the “It Gets Better” campaign for gay youth. I feel like doing one called “You Will Sleep Again” for new mothers. Not sleeping for 2 years is a desperate feeling people! It’s all fun and games until someone has a baby. Then wait two years, and it’s fun again. There it is, that’s my motto for my new campaign. What do you think, wanna join the movement? What’s your story of survival?
The greatest thing I’ll ever learn is taught to me by someone who hasn’t even been on the planet for a full two years. Someone who has a very limited capacity to explain herself or communicate in an effective way. But for all that she lacks, she has seemed to retain and remember the important stuff.
Sadie’s daily mantra it seems, is something so simple but so beautiful and in many ways profound. It is simply… be happy.
Daily, just out of the blue she will look up at me and just say, “be happy.” And I always tell her back, I am so happy. She will repeat this phrase over and over – to herself, to me, to Devin, to Berkeley, even to her stuffed animals. I can’t tell you where she got it from. It’s something common enough that I’m sure Devin and I have both said it here and there or perhaps it was on Sesame Street. But it’s something totally angelic that she has latched onto and I hope she never lets it go.
On days that seem to be frustrating, or just a bit harder than usual… I think of my sweet Sadie and the ease of joy she brings. And I remind myself of what she’s always trying to teach me, I remind myself to just be happy.
To my little angel baby – I hope you always remember to be happy.
///photos vary from hanging around home//trip to Little Farm with Grandma//visiting Daddy at his office///